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The Perfect Martini
Copyright 1994 Owen McShane http://www.bitz.co.nz/straight/ If the prospect of Christmas fills you with dread then the perfect martini is the thing for you. You can also delight your American friends. Evidently the Martini is no longer politically correct in the US which means Americans now wander the globe seeking a nirvana where political correctness is less well entrenched but where the natives can mix a martini. Once they discover our secret they'll be here in droves. |
| Two days before blast-off trot down to the liquor store and buy two bottles of gin. The first can be one made by throwing a bag of herbs into whey alcohol. The other should be a high quality brand of gin worthy of the perfect martini. Also buy a botttle of high quality extra dry vermouth. (The French vermouth produces a more floral martini while the Italian mix is more herbal.) |
| When you get home put the cheap gin on the sideboard for gross people to mix with tonic and other soft drinks. Hide the quality gin in the back corner of the freezer and leave for 36 hours. Also freeze a plain cocktail shaker - ideally stainless steel with the built in strainer under the measuring cap. Then freeze the required number of classic martini glasses. (If you use regular glasses any drink which looks decently generous will deliver instant oblivion.) Refrigerate the vermouth - unlike the gin, vermouth will freeze solid. |
| When it's time to settle the nerves (probably just before the relatives arrive or just after they leave) gather together on the bench beside the freezer: a lemon, a peeler, a saucer of green olives, and a tray of large ice cubes. (small ones melt too quickly). Peel two slivers of lemon peel per glass. |
| Now move quickly but without rushing, repeating the process for each serving. |
| Fill the shaker about two thirds full with ice cubes, fill the measuring cap with vermouth and pour it over the ice. Put the cap on and gently rock the shaker until the vermouth has had time to coat the cubes. (Vigorous shaking chips the cubes and will dilute the martini) Pour off the residual vermouth and hand it to someone not sufficiently mature to experience the perfect martini. Otherwise drink it to steady your nerves. This is a demanding process. |
| Take the martini glass from the freezer and measure the total gin required by pouring it into the glass and then into the cocktail shaker. Handle the glass only by the stem. Gently rock the gin in the shaker. |
| Roll the lemon peels between the fingers - to get the oils running - and wipe the outer side of the first peel around the rim of the glass. Discard. Drop the second piece of peel into the bottom of the glass. Give the shaker a final rock Pour the martini and serve - with the olives alongside - and handle the glass only by the stem. |
| Sit down, relax, and toast the Queen Mother whose guests know she is about to enter the drawing room when a footman starts preparing her an enormous martini - about the size of a Morris Minor hub cap we hear . Such good taste demands respect. |
| Then drink a frozen cloud. Your Christmas will be a dream. |