Get Stilts Advice
A British woman only 1.15 metres tall who cannot
reach the sink or light switches in her flat said a
Leeds City Council housing official told her to "get
some stilts". Sharon O'Connor, 24, said she had gone
to the housing office to ask for alterations to her
flat to make her life bearable.
And do enjoy your stay
To help Japanese teens studying in the US, the AFS
Japan Association issued a risk management handbook.
Some samples:
"The following expressions may be used to get your
attention. Do not respond:
Yo homeboy, nice watch lemme see it.
Hey, baby.
Yo bitch, hand over the necklace.
Gimme that, motherf*****.
The following words are used to order you to perform
a certain action. Do no resist:
Hands in the air!
Stop Right There!
Cool it! Freeze!
Hold it right there!
The following words are used to start a fight:
Son of a bitch!
Fag/faggot/pervert/homo/fairy.
Gook/Chink/Jap.
I'm gonna blow you away!
I'm gonna F*** you up!
I'm gonna take you out!
You piece of shit!
You're dead meat!"
Wag...then whoof
An Exuberant St. Bernard dog caused damage estimated
at 200,000 Swiss francs (NZ$247,000) by wagging its
tail against a kitchen cooker, police in Argovie,
northern Switzerland said yesterday. The movement of
the dog's tail switched on the hotplates, which then
set fire to objects left on top of the cooker. The
owner's property was badly damaged.
Mice eat away cars
Steve Alexander of Cumbria is getting hot under the
bonnet: mice keep eating his cars. They chewed into
his first Ford Sierra and when he bought another they
got into the engine compartment and gnawed through
the wiring. Now, he has installed mousetraps under
his bonnet.
Tandoori al la Basil
An undercover hotel inspector found himself at the
centre of a Fawlty Towers style farce when he ordered
dinner at a country hotel and then found that staff
had ordered an Indian takeaway.
Olaf White had visited the 14 bed hotel in the north
of England to test its services for inclusion in
Signpost, a British hotel guide, when staff
recommended he try one their "special" curries for
dinner. But as he was walking into the dining room
he bumped into one of the waiters racing in with his
curry -- in a tinfoil container from an Indian
takeaway.
Christopher Carney-Smith, publisher of Signpost,
said: "The kitchen was closed so they sent out for a
takeaway. The curry was quite tasty." -- The Times
Toe discovered in jar
Police are investigating the discovery of a human toe
found in a jar in the back yard of a house at Crows
Nest in Sydney's north yesterday. A neighbour called
police after he became suspicious about the jar,
which had been in the yard for about a month. A
police spokeswoman said it was not known how old the
toe was or who it belonged to.
Too late
Israeli police arrived at the scene of a murder near
Tel Aviv yesterday 3700 years too late. The
skeleton, with a knife in its chest, was unearthed at
a road paving site. Archeologists said the man was
probably murdered during the Middle Bronze Age --
Reuter
Lost thumb turns up in trout's belly
A severed thumb that turned up in the stomach of a
lake trout in Wyoming has been traced to its owner,
who lost it in a boating accident last year.
Sweetwater county coroner mike Vase confirmed the
thumb, found early last month, belonged to Robert
Lindsey, 32, who said yesterday: "I'll probably just
put it on the shelf to show people."
Mr Lindsey said he was boating on the Flaming Gorge
Reservoir, south of Green River, on July 27 when he
dived in front of his boat to help his friend's
daughter, who had fallen into the water. The
propeller cut off his thumb, index and middle finger.
The fingers were found and reattached.
More than six months later, a fisherman hooked a
trout and the thumb was discovered.
Mr Lindsey said he called the coroner's office after
hearing about the find. "At first he didn't believe
me. He thought I was a prankster." -- AP
Scots underwear banned
Caber tossing Scots have been told to drop their
kilts - or take off their trousers. Tossing the
caber involves throwing a roughly trimmed tree trunk.
The governing body of Scotland's Highland games says
too many competitors have taken to wearing tracksuit
bottoms, let-warmers and even tights under their
traditional kilts in defiance of the rules. "From
now on competitors will wear either the kilt or a
tracksuit - not a combination of both," Gregor
Nicholson of the Scottish Amateur Athletics
Association said. "The rule will be rigidly enforced
this summer."
When American films play in Paris, sometimes the
titles are lost in the translation. Entertainment
Weekly notes these on Paris marquees: Voyage to the
Centre of Memory (Total Recall); Life, Love, Cows
(City Slickers); Is There a Cop to Guard the
President? (Naked Gun 2 and half); In the Skin of a
Blond (Switch).
A rose by any other name...
MIAMI - Lynda Black and Mary Baughman are trying to
make money with fake roses made of horse manure.
But two weeks into their business venture, titled
Poop-Poop We Do, they have raised a big stink.
An unamused recipient of the odorous bouquets has
put United States government regulators on their
trail.
Ms Black bakes horse manure into the shape of
rosebuds for sale to dumped boyfriends, angry wives
and practical jokers.
On a typical day at work, Ms Black snaps on a pair of
latex gloves and checks out her Florida horse ranch
for fresh piles of manure. She picks through it till
she finds the firmest, roundest pieces, then carries
them to the barn and bakes them in an old toaster
oven.
Then she twists the dried but spongy orbs onto the
stems of artificial flowers, which she has deflowered
the night before. -- KRT
Stomp foils attacker
Police have praised an Auckland woman shopkeeper who
stamped on the bare feet of an attacker early
yesterday. The woman, 41, was locking her cafe when
a man demanded money and car keys before kicking her
in the rips and trying to punch her. "She refused to
comply and seeing he had bare feet, decided to stamp
on them", Inspector George Wood said. The attacker
hobbled off empty handed.
Hazards of TV viewing
LONDON, June 1, -- About 7000 British viewers end up
in hospital as a result of watching television,
according to a Government survey.
Some faint at gory scenes, some hurt themselves doing
chores with their eyes on the screen. Others injure
themselves doing TV fitness routines, the report on
hospital accident units said
Some people attack their sets out of sheer
frustration. One man hurt his hand punching his
screen during a boxing match. Another tried a
head-butt, with painful results.
A girl dislocated her knee dancing along with a pop
show, a woman burnt herself following a TV cookery
class and a rugby fan who jumped for joy when England
scored crashed into a chandelier. -- Reuter
Rare bug hits vicar
A British vicar who went to bed with a sore throat
ended up having his feet and all his fingers
amputated. Henry Taylor, of Howden-le-Wear in
northeast England, retired with flu expecting to
return to the pulpit soon. But bacteria caused
gangrene in his bloodstream and he went into a coma
for three weeks.
Winds of change
A new study contends dinosaur flatulence may have
helped warm the Earth's atmosphere millions of years
ago. Research on fossilized dinosaur dung suggests
methane from digestion could have contributed to
ancient climate warming.
Advice regretted
Harley Street doctor William Frankland, who warned
Iraqi President Saddam Hussein 15 years ago to give
up his 60 a day smoking habit or die, blamed himself
for helping save the dictator's life, British
newspaper The Guardian reported yesterday. -- Reuter
Search on for perfect rubber tuna
SYDNEY Designers are struggling to perfect a rubber
tuna for next year's Australian tuna tossing
championships in order to protect spectators from
being hit by flying frozen fish.
"The problem is not the weight but getting the
density right," an organiser of the annual
championships said from Adelaide yesterday, at the
end of this years event.
"We could put a lump of lead in the plastic fish, but
if it breaks through it could kill someone."
The continuing quest for a rubber tuna stems from a
compensation award of A$11,000 (NZ$14,300) paid to a
woman spectator last year after she was hit in the
back by a flying eight kilogram tuna.
"We're still look at using rubber next year," the
spokeswoman said.
This year's championships were held last weekend at
Port Lincoln, 200 kilometres west of Adelaide.
The men's event was won by Norm marks when he hurled
his 10kg frozen fish 14.49 metres.
The women's event was won by Jodie Hamilton with a
toss of 4.64m. -- NZPA-Reuter
Bitter experience
Margaret Mwikali just wants to be a barmaid, but
since winning a $37,000 car in a Kenyan beer company
quiz competition her life has been a nightmare.
After she sold the car and banked the money, robbers
ransacked her house near Nairobi, and in a number of
separate incidents men have attempted to kidnap or
blackmail her. A barmaid earns about $20 a month in
Kenya.
Lid off a loo rescue
Little old ladies have been locked in lavatories all
down the ages ... and the 1990's are no different.
The only problem these days is getting them out.
Seventy year old Alice Morrandi had no trouble
finding her way into the new space age lavatory on a
Turin street by pressing the automatic entry button.
But when the time came to leave, she pressed all the
buttons, pulled on the door, banged on the walls, all
to no avail.
Finally, after several hours, her cries for help were
heard. The fire brigade arrived and had to cut open
the roof of the lavatory and winch the furious lady
to freedom.
Rail riddle unsolved
An extensive investigation has failed to solve the
mystery of the Tamworth triangle, a stretch of line
near an English Midlands town where five passengers
fell to their deaths from express trains this year,
British Rail said yesterday.
Sock dump protest
Thousands of old socks will be dumped outside the
British Trade Department offices this week as part of
a campaign to avoid job losses in the textile
industry through loss of protection from cheap
foreign imports.
Coffin kills hearse driver
COLD SPRING (Kentucky), Jan 13. -- The driver of a
hearse was crushed to death when a coffin inside his
vehicle broke through a steel guard and pinned him
against the dashboard.
Jack Volkering, 59, was killed when the hearse he was
driving was hit by another vehicle, causing the
coffin to slide forward and ram him against the
steering wheel and the dashboard, police said. The
driver of the other vehicle was not seriously
injured.
Buried later
The coffin bearing the body was picked up by another
hearse immediately after the accident and the corpse
was buried yesterday, said a spokesman for the
Alexandria Funeral Home. -- NZPA-AFP
Wrong Storey
A soprano starring in Puccini's opera 'Tosca' in St.
Paul, Minnesota, was hurt when she leapt from the
wrong third storey window in the suicide scene and
fell nine metres to the floor rather than on to a
padded platform. Elizabeth Knighton Printy received
a fractured pelvis and broken ribs.
Bowled over
Industrial pollution has brought a new threat to the
residents in the Dutch town of Arnhem - exploding
toilets. A family came home to find their porcelain
bowl and cistern smashed to bits for the third time
in 30 months. The blasts are probably caused by
ground pollution and leaking pipes, a city inspector
says.
Bogus voters purged from roll
LAGOS. Nigeria had removed 20 million fictitious
names, equivalent to a fifth of the population, from
the voters' list, the News Agency of Nigeria reported
yesterday. Bogus names were cancelled after the
compilation of a new voters' register last July, NAN
quoted Humphrey Nwosu, chairman of the National
Electoral Commission, as saying. Vote-rigging has
marred most elections in Nigeria, Africa's most
populous state, with an estimated 108 million people,
since independence in 1960. The military government
is carrying out a phased programmed to hand over
power to an elected civilian government. -- Reuter
Lick the plate, then eat it
Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal
can now go a step further. They can eat the plate.
Chen Lian-eh, 50, of Taiwan, an amateur inventor,
said yesterday he had perfected an edible plate made
from wheat grain. The only disadvantage , Chen said,
was the edible crockery could not be reused.
A mystery illness left a 91 year old man in southwestern
China looking years younger. Lan Riren, from Guangxi
province, sprouted new teeth and found his white hair
had turned black after the illness in July which left
him unable to eat for nearly 20 days, the Hong Kong branch
of the China News Service said. Lan can now gather wood
and farm like an able-bodied young man, it said.
A British pilot crash-laned after his joy-stick
became caught in his wife's skirt, a Department
of Transport bulletin revealed yesterday. The
unidentified piolt was preparing to land the single
engined aircraft at Henstridge Airfield, Somerset,
on June 19. but his wife, who normally wore trousers,
had decided to wear a flowing skirt that day - and
his control column became caught in it as he tried
to land, causing the plane to hit the airfield
nose first. Neither the pilot nor his wife, the
only passenger, was injured.
Praise for outstanding explanatory journalism goes to
the United States' Bridgewater Courier News, new
Jersey, for this paragraph, as reprinted in American
Journalism Review:
"Investigators have eliminated engine failure as a
possible cause for the crash because the aircraft -
like all glider planes - has no engine."
British scientists preparing to climb Mount Everest
have been given their first glimpse of a toilet
specially designed for use on the roof of the world.
The steel cubicle, equipped with steel guy ropes
anchored with ice picks to stop it being blown off
the mountain, has a wooden seat because plastic would
be cold to the touch and would crack in the freezing
temperatures.
A blushing Italian bride whent red when the bishop at
her wedding criticised her 218kg gown, thought to be
the world's largest bridal dress. Bishop Raffaele
Nogaro said he was angry about the gown, which
swirled under a metal frame to a diameter of 13
metres around Maria Rosaria Lemo's feet. he said:
"Some time ago I explicitly told all the priests in
this diocese not to allow such scandalous things in
their churches." The bride saw the dress on a
magazine cover and decided shw must have one.
British schoolboy Michael Biddell had no trouble
beating the competition in a local fun run. he was
the only one who took part.
Organisers had expected 150 competitors in the
one-mile race at Cowplain, Hampshire, but seven year
old Michael was the only entrant.
He was cheered by amused spectators as he completed
the course and accepted the winner's medal.
Christmas twins meet sooner than expected
Flitcham (England), Dec 26 - It was a real
seasonal bash for twins Lorraine and Levinia
Christmas, who were in hospital today after
crashing head-on as they headed to one another's
homes to deliver Christmas presents.
The 31 year old sisters, each driving her own
car, collided on a narrow, icy country lane the
day before Christmas, police said.
Family members said the twins were delivering
presents to one another.
"People always say the twins always do things
together," said their mother, Joan Christmas.
"It is remarkable they crashed into each other
this time of year".
"We did a double take when we first received
details of the accident. We thought it was a
practical joke," a police spokesman said.
The two were treated for chest injuries,
whiplash and concussion.
"If Americans aren't transformed into soccer fans by
this World Cup, it's their own damn fault. Let them
languish in the heathen worship of fat men playing
rounders, freaks of nature mucking about at glorified
netball or the tedious travesty of rugby league that
is American Football".
So says The Times of London.
A British couple are recovering on honeymoon after
their wedding turned into disaster. As Sara Manners
married Kirk Wilson at a church in Brundall, her
brother and chief usher fainted. When Sara arrived
at her hotel, roses in her bouquet brought on asthma
and she had to be rushed to hospital. Kirk's brother
took them to the airport for their flight to the
Canary Islands. But the car caught fire and they had
to put out the flames with soft drink. Then thieves
stole the only video of the wedding.
South African cricket chief executive Dr Ali Bacher
nearly missed his lunch with Prime Minister John
Major on the opening day of the second cricket test
against England this week - he was being held at
gunpoint by british airport police on suspicion of
being an Arab terrorist. Police surrounded him when
he took out a mobile phone as a group of Jews walked
past.
Love it or hate it, direct mail is part of life ...
and dath it seems. Auckland based company Franklin
Mint recently sent a letter to a deceased West Coast
woman, care of Karoro Lawn Cemetery, Greymouth.
Asked to explain how correspondence could be directed
ot a cemetery, branch manager Melanie Houston said,
"Believe it or not, we've had customers in the past
who worked at cemeteries". It was possible that
woever received the mail at the dead woman's former
residence returned it, giving the cemertery address
A little less joyful noise, please! Two neighbours
of Rev Robert H Schuller's Crystal Cathedral in
California say the church's $US5 million stainless
steel carillon bothers their eardrums. The bells
ring twice an hour daily from 9am until 6pm. "It's
the most gosh-awful noise you ever heard. It's not
even music", said Max Stauffer, who lives two houses
from the cathedral. It's no just the sound that
bothers him. Instead of sticking to hymns, the bell
selections include Three Blind Mice and I Dream of
Jeanie with the Light Brown Hair.
In Columbus, Ohio, the Cunninghams are going to have
three reasons to celebrate on December 21. It's the
date their children were born in three successive
years. Paul Joseph Cunningham II was born in 1991,
Stphen Patrick Cunningham in 1992 and Breonna Daniell
Cunningham last year. "It must be something they're
doing", said Dr Mervin Samuels. "I haven't asked
what though".
Toddler hijacks float
A toddler caused havoc yesterday when he hijacked a
milk float parked in Anfield, Liverpool, and drove
off down the street, running into a poll tax
collector, breaking his leg and knocking him into a
trench. The float then toppled into the trench and
trapped a workman. Martin Conroy, 3, was not
injured.
A string of weddings has left a successful British
singles club on the rocks after the members got
hitched. The over 35s group from Doncaster has
appealed for new members after more than half the 36
couples paired up, including four marriages.
A spokeswoman said, "Obviously, we are delighted for
those who have got together. We just need more
single recruits".
Rich Bastard
Newcastle upon Tyne council officials are
investigating why street light electrician Derek
Bastard earns more than his town hall bosses. Mr
Bastard reportedly earns #37,000 ($NZ116,000) a year
after bumping up his wage with payments for standby
and emergency duties. "You could say I'm a rich
bastard -- but I work bloody hard for it," Mr
Bastard said.
The landmark Eros statue in London Piccadilly Circus
is now prtected from vandals by an electronic
surveillance system that tells trespassers to keep
off, an official said today. The $NZ102,850, 24 hour
system is linked to a nearby security office and if
anyone climbs the statue a disembodied voice from
metal encased speakers booms, "Do not touch the
statue. Please move away!" The system was fitted
after a climbing vandal broke Eros' leg.
Rough start for baby
DHAKA -- A new-born baby which fell through the
toilet of a moving train on to the track below
survived unscathed, the mass circulation daily
Ittefaq reported.
The baby was born when his mother, Rashida Khatun,
22, went to the toilet with labour pains, the
newspaper said.
She managed to stop the train and the infant was
found unharmed. -- AP
Late' vouchers
LONDON, March 4 -- Britain's State rail network
began offering compensation today to long suffering
passengers for delays and cancellations.
A new "Passengers Charter" offers vouchers for future
travel if trains are cancelled or are late by more
than one hour.
Traditional excuses such as "reaction to severe
adhesion problems" -- meaning that autumn leaves have
fallen on the line and made the wheels slip -- will
no longer be accepted. But delays caused by
terrorists are not covered. "BR is putting its money
where its mouth is," said Transport Secretary Malcolm
Rifkind, a Cabinet Minister. -- Reuter
Fake are a forgery
A London pawnbroker paid #1500 (NZ$5000) for a
painting by Britain's best known art forger, Tom
Keating, only to discover it was a fake. For years
Keating, who died eight years ago, fed the art market
with copies of old masters so convincing they
deceived experts.
Wailing Wall fax
JERUSALEM, Jan 20, -- Israel's telecomunications
company has installed a fax machine at the Wailing
Wall to enable Jews around the world to send their
prayers direct.
"From now on just dial 612-222 and send your wishes
by fax and a Bezek employee will place your message
in the cracks in the wall."
In a Jewish tradition dating back to the 16th
century, wishes written on slips of paper are said to
come true if they are left at the holiest site in
Judaism.
But orthodox Judaism bans the use of electricity from
sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. The fax
machine cannot be used on the Sabbath. -- AFP
Confess by fax
Roman Catholics around the world who are unable to
make it to church may soon be able to confess by fax
machine. The Observer newspaper said the new hi-tech
confessionals would be unveiled in may in Vincenza,
Italy, at an annual trade fair for religious items
and furnishings. -- NZPA
The lost Aids tree
Starting with twigs from a malaysian gum tree,
researchers isolated a compound that blocked the Aids
virus. But when they returned for more samples the
tree had been cut down. No tree found since has
produced the same compound.
Plum pud threat to ozone layer
A Sydney doctor has told Australians they should
steer clear of flatulence-producing Christmas fare
such as turkey and plum pudding to help the ozone
layer.
"There's been no real measurements of emmissions from
humans as a contributor to the ozone problem," said
Terry Bolin, head of the gastro-intestinal unit at
Sydney's Prince of Wales Hospital.
"But it probably does because it's the hydrogen and
carbon dioxide and the methane that you produce that
have an impact."
The average person emitted a litre of gas a day.
He encouraged Australians to eat seafood, salad and
fruit instead of traditional fare.
Bottom line
Ten packets of turn-of-the-century "aristocratic"
English lavatory paper fetched $560 at a Sotheby's
auction. The Archer toilet rolls, found in Sandon
Hall, Staffordshire, stately home of the Earls of
Harrowby, were bought by an American collector.
Described as "soft as silk and very strong", they
were manufactured in 1900.
Airline's delight
Weird -- and genuine -- signs in "English" collected
from around the world by Air France include: in a
Hong Kong tailor shop, "Ladies may have a fit
upstairs". In a Japanese hotel, "You are invited to
take advantage of the chambermaid".
Vanishing places
Cannibal Creek, Blackfellows, Knob, Chinaman Gully
and Niggers Bounce are just a few of the politically
incorrect Queensland placenames that could vanish
from the face of the earth under a bill approved by
state cabinet yesterday. The Lands Department has
prepared a list of 43 "inappropriate" names.
Meeting smogbound
About 15,000 delegates were in Mexico City yesterday
for a Rotary environment conference, but organisers
said smog in the world's most polluted city kept many
would-be participants away. Elderly members were
warned not to attend because of health risks. --
Reuter
Nose bitten off
A man trying to break up a fight in Ottawa, Canada,
yesterday had a big portion of his nose bitten off,
police said. He was operated on to reattach the
nose.
It's official, Friday the 13th is unlucky
LONDON -- Findings by British medical researchers
suggest that an old superstition is true: "Friday the
13th is bad for your health."
A study by the Mid-Downs Health Authority in West
Sussex found there had been more road accidents in
southern England on Friday the 13th than on Friday
the 6th over the past four years.
This was despite the fact that there were fewer cars
on the roads on the 13th, according to the study,
published yesterday in the British medical Journal.
In addition, the risk of being admitted to hospital
because of a crash increased by about half on the
13th.
But the results also showed there were the same number
of shoppers on both days, indicating that people were
already taking action to find alternative ways of
going to shops on the 13th.
Further research was needed. In the meantime, "we
may just have to accept that Friday the 13th is
unlucky for some." -- NZPA
Rail Riddle Unsolved
An extensive investigation has failed to solve the
mystery of the Tamworth Triangle, a stretch of line
near an English Midlands town where five passengers
fell to their deaths from express trains this year,
British Rail said yesterday.
Blob no meteorite
A strange blob that an expert believed plummeted
from the heavens suddenly became less alien yesterday
after it was found to be a lump of asphalt covered
with paint. "I'm kind of embarrassed," said David
Dilon, a member of the University of Western
Ontario's geology department, who said he had been 75
percent certain the object was a meteorite.
Lick the plate, then eat it
Diners tempted to lick a plate after a delicious meal
can now go a step further. They can eat the plate.
Chen Liang-erh, 50, of Taiwan, an amateur inventor,
said yesterday he had perfected an edible plate made
from wheat grain. The only disadvantage, Chen said,
was the edible crockery could not be reused.