At least it wasn't "The Lady in Red"
London local authorities successfully sued some 700
construction workers for repeatedly singing "The
Banana Boat Song" at night. To the annoyance of
nearby residents, the workers on site would chorus,
"Come Mr Tallyman, tally me banana, daylight come and
I want to go home." Lawyer David Ashton explained:
"I'm not against workmen being happy, but happy on
appropriate occasions." Fines totalling over
$NZ30,000 were handed down.
Initiation damages
A United States jury has ordered Miami city to pay
US$1.3 million to a rookie firefighter who was
humiliated by a lurid initiation incident. Jurors
decided Herman Skinner's civil rights were violated
when he was handcuffed and held to the ground while a
supervisor rubbed his scrotum on Skinner's forehead.
Miniskirt wearers under siege
NIAMEY Devotees of a Moslem sect in Niger, claiming
that "provocative" female attire is causing a
drought, are attacking mini skirted women in public.
Police in the west African country's capital, Niamey,
say they have arrested several members of the Izala
sect in recent weeks and charged them with assault.
About 85 percent of Niger's eight million people are
Moslems but so far Niger has been untouched by the
surge in fundamentalist Islam witnessed in
neighbouring Algeria. -- AAP
Boy played around mum's body
LONDON, August 11: - A 12 year old London schoolboy
left his mother dying on the floor for a week while
telling neighbours she was "out" and relishing his
new found freedom.
"This is a totally bizarre story," coroner Dr John
Burton said ruling that the 45 year old woman, who
was not named, died of natural causes. Doctors said
she suffered a stroke.
Burton said she "would have died anyway" but that she
had lain unattended in her house for a week before
suspicious neighbours ignored the son's claims that
she was "just up the road" and burst into the house
in Acton, west London. The boy told one friend who
noticed the body that it was a blow up dummy his
father had bought from America. The boy used the
time to invite friends to his home and use her money
to buy them gifts and toys
Phone protest
Moriyuki Kinjo has telephoned the father of his
former college sweetheart about 4600 times over the
past six months - up to 120 times a day - to protest
his objections to the couple's marriage. Kinjo, 23,
who has no steady job, was arrested today on charges
of disrupting the father's business by repeatedly
calling his work, said a spokesman from the Himonya
police station in the Tokyo district of Suginami.
Visitors get short shrift
FALKLAND Islands Customs officials turned away an
Argentine group which had travelled 20 days by yacht
from Buenos Aires to bring goodwill messages to the
children of the islands.
Though tired and short of food, the group spent two
days at anchor in Port Stanley before returning to
Argentina, still carrying hundreds of messages from
Argentine schoolchildren.
A Falklands Government official said: "Other visitors
from Argentina to the Falklands will receive the same
message." -- Reuter
Village sheds no tears
Hot Dog salesman Webster Fry has been barred from
cooking onions in a picturesque Cotswold village. Mr
Fry has been told he can continue selling his hotdogs
and burgers but the whiff of fried onions wafting
over Bibury, in Gloucestershire, was too much for
local planners, who imposed the onion ban after a
survey found 82 percent of the villagers hated the
smell from his van
Patients still on loose
JOHANNESBURG. Feb 14. -- Dangerous psychiatric
patients staged a mass breakout from a maximum
security hospital in Cape Town and some were still on
the loose today, police said.
They said some of the 34 prisoners who escaped
yesterday were arrested while bathing naked in a
river running through Cape Town and others were
picked up strolling hand in hand through the suburbs
in hospital pyjamas. -- Reuter
Costly confession
A Florida priest, who practices an Afro-Caribbean
religion, heard a confession from a getaway driver
after the murder of a Miami policeman in January,
1991, then tipped authorities and collected a
US$100,00 (NZ$180,000) reward. Lazaro Hernandez, 36,
reported Ronald Guralnick only when reward money
mounted.
Santa Beaten
A gang of gatecrashing children kicked, punched and
threw stones at Father Christmas as he arrived to
deliver presents to infants at a kindergarten in
Rotterdam, news agency ANP reported today. The
bruised Santa was later escorted out by police and
two of the ~assilants, 10 and 11, given a stern
talking to. -- Reuter
Hairline grounded
British Airways chiefs were not amused when
hairdresser Steve Parkin named his salon British
Hairways. The airline has told Parkin to change it
or risk being taken to court. Parkin, 31, also used
the airline's red, white, and blue colours on the
logo above his salon in Sheffield.
Street preachers in court
BEAUFORT (South Carolina), June 8. -- A series of
jury trials began today for 17 street preachers
facing 27 charges of violating this city's noise
ordinance. Dozens of preachers have been arrested,
some more than once, since the city passed the
ordinance last year outlawing "loud and unseemly
noise". Violation of the ordinance carries a $234
fine or 30 days in jail. Fourteen preachers were
convicted in March.
A mother's love finally boils over
CLEVELAND A 78 year old woman, sued by her son for
the cost of repairing her pickup truck, filed a
countersuit recommending he get the whipping "I
failed to give him as a child".
Car mechanic Kenneth Arrowood is suing his mother in
Cleveland, Georgia, seeking US$2613 (NZ$4750) for
work he did on her truck.
"The plaintiff is indebted to the defendant for 40
years of services rendered as a mother, guidance
counsellor, cook, maid, banker, nurse, bail
bondswoman, babysitter, laundry worker and
psychologist, all of which the plaintiff has not paid
for," Hazel Arrowood responded in a countersuit.
"As a mother, and provided the law will allow me, I
would publicly give my son the whipping that he so
rightly needs and which I failed to give him as a
child." -- AP
Up his tree
Five years ago, Michael Diliama, 45, ailing and with
two wives and nine children to support, climbed to
the top of a tree. His health improved immediately,
and the Nigerian hasn't budged since. His wives send
up food and water, and rain gear for the wet season.
-- AFP
Penny the pig on the run
SYDNEY, August 13. -- Hell hath no fury like a man
separated from his beloved pig.
Australian sugarcane farmer Boris Radic rammed his
tractor into a horse box today to rescue his pet pig
Penny from Government officals.
Penny, a 160kg razorback or feral pig, was being
taken to a research centre after elderly women at Mt
Coolum, 130km east of Brisbane, complained she
attacked them.
Penny can't say no to a beer, gets drunk and gets
into fights. So authorities told her owner to
destroy her or enrol her in a breeding programme.
But when the time came Radic could not say goodbye.
Penny is now on the run. -- Reuter
White rage at a shotgun wedding
The congregation was in place, the organ was playing
and everything was going perfectly to plan as the
wedding car drew up outside the church and the bride
stepped into the sunshine.
But that is when the harmony of Belinda Mansell's big
day in Napoleon, Missouri, came to an abrupt halt.
For her father took one look at the white trouser
suit she was wearing and erupted with rage. He
screamed that he was only prepared to see her married
in a dress and she should go home and change.
A massive shouting match ensued involving the father,
groom John Roberts and the bride's brother. This
culminated in the latter being shot and rushed to
hospital.
At least the bride can console herself that her
outfit was noticed.
Phone call furore
NEW DELHI. -- A controversy over a veteran
politician's gun toting raid on a telephone exchange
here continued for fourth day as newspapers
questioned his sanity and criticised India's
communication system.
The pro-government "Hindustan Times" said the
deplorable state of India's phone system had been
highlighted on Friday by Prakash Chand Sethi's visit
to the capital's main exchange to demand a long
distance call be put through.
"Let not in the midst of Sethi's acts of indescretion
a crucial point be missed - the level of
inefficiency, callousness and simple insolence in the
telephone exchanges in India would drive anyone mad,"
it said.
The newspaper said it was not condoning the acts of
the fomer interior minister, who, in the past two
weeks, was reported to have embarrassed Prime
Minister Rajiv Gandhi at a garden party and abused a
Nepalese boxing team.
The "Tribune" in Chandigarh said: "The anti hero
image he consciously created for himself for
political effect has petered out into an apparent
state of paranoia."
Operator Kiran Fatima, who had taken Sethi's call to
Bombay, said she tried three times before ringing
Sethi.
She accused Sethi of using obscene language and
saying women like her could be bought for 50 cents.
Sethi challenges her story and stood by his criticism
of inefficiency in a system where there is only a one
in four chance of getting a right number.
"We have got the world's lousiest telephones. You
should have seen the palace that night. Fat, lazy
ladies, every single one of them," he said.
Yesterday the operators ended a two day strike after
receiving an apology from Sethi -- NZPA-Reuter
Man cleared of Aunt's death
Nottingham. A man who called his 160kg aunt a "Fat,
smelly, old cow" during a row was today cleared of
causing her death.
James Hutchison, 22, was aquitted of manslaughter and
assault causing actual bodily harm.
Isabella Hutchison, 58, known as Aunt Bella, died
after chasing her nephew with a broom during the row,
the Nottingham Crown Court jury was told.
Foreign names fad
A fad for Chinese students to give themselves English
names such as Bush and Tyrone was causing a few
frowns among teachers, Shanghai's Youth Post said.
It said the rash of English names, running from Mike,
mary and Miriam to Carmen, Vandin and Whistle, was
causing teachers to worry over "worship of things
foreign, which might affect the tone of society".
Ashes to others
A grieving son who has spent two months talking to
ashes he thought were those of his dead mother has
been told her remains are still at the crematorium.
"Who have I been talking to for the past seven weeks
if it wasn't my mum?" Len Farhall, 51, told The Sun
newspaper in London yesterday.
Man shoots fridge
A man called police in Durham, North Carolina, to
report that while he was entertaining guests an
unidentified man walked into his apartment, when to
the kitchen, fired a shot into his refrigerator, and
left. -- KRTN
Train time wagers
British commuters have bet #100 (NZ$320) at odds of
10 to 1 against 11 of British Rail's 6.10pm Liverpool
Street-Norwich services being on time in the next 20
weekdays. bookmakers William Hill will pay out if 11
of the 20 trains complete the journey within two
minutes of the timetable.
Battle over a child
A Californian judge has ruled that a man who provided
sperm for a lesbian couple to have a child may seek
parental rights. The ruling this week by Superior
Court Judge Jim Stevens does not establish custody
or visitation rights, but allows Steve Wittman to
continue litigation on those issues.
Mum to be shared
A judge in Frascati, Italy, has ordered seven feuding
brothers and sisters to take monthly turns caring for
their mother, 85, so she will not be abandoned. She
had been left in the street. August, when a good
deal of Italy shuts down for holiday, can be a
difficult month for many elderly.
Please wait till you hear the burp
PITTSBURG. A mischievous man, dubbed The Burper,
has been interrupting police radio broadcasts with
body type noises, kazoo reditions of Christmas
carols, whistling, and loud intermittent belching.
"He does everything from sneezing to playing his
kazoo to whistling," Lincoln police chief Ted Hazard
said at the weekend.
The interruptions of the frequency used by police
officers and tow truck drivers in 11 communities in
Monongahela valley, southeast of Pittsburg, have been
going on for a year or two.
Efforts twice this year to pinpoint the signal have
been in vain. -- NZPA-AP
A Norwegian mororist has been fined $950 for calling
a policeman an "onion". The 26 year old omorist
argued with the officer after being pulled over for a
routine check. "You onion", growled the motorist.
The police charge of insulting an officer was upheld
by the Nordhordland County Court, making the word
"onion" an illegal affront. It was not clear whether
the names of other vegetables would be also
considered insulting.
In Wyoming, Delaware, witches can celebrate because
black magic is no longer taboo. The Town Council has
voted unanimously to strike a 41 year old
anti-witchcraft ordinance from the books. Self
proclaimed witches objected when the 1952 law was
printed in the town's newsletter as a joke.
"Witchcraft is a life-affirming, legally recognised
religion," Diana Scherger told the council. The
ordinance said people who "pretend to exercise the
art of wtichcraft, conjuration, fortune telling or
dealing with spirits" could be jailed for a year and
fined $100.
A spurned Channel Island housewife took revenge on
her husband by leaving 15 paddling pools filled with
rotting food in the home she had to leave. Dee
Knight, 36, dished up the treat for husband John, 60,
who asked for a divorce just two months after they
married. She took a week to prepare the food before
handing over the house keys. The pools were filled
with, amongst other things, 300 cans of chicken soup,
two dozen rotting prawns, 50 fish heads, 81kg of
mashed potato, apples, custard and 1300 tea
bags.
A British widower who used to plead for credit
at his local village ship has left a $NZ12
million fortune in his will. Stan Smith, 89,
never carried cash and would show the threadbare
lining of his pockets to the shopkeeper at
Bramshaw in Hampshire. But in reality he was a
wealthy garage boss with property interests and
an winning racehorse. He lived alone in a
modest house in the village. He left most of
his fortune to relatives.
The company running trains through the Channel
Tunnel promised today to change food for truck
drivers after complaints it was not greasy
enough. Le Shuttle Freight director Christian
Zyblut said it was impossible for safety reasons
to accede to demands for fried food such as egg
and chips on the 35 minute journey. But he
added: "We realise the food is a bit too
continental and we will take steps to rectify
this". Most pasengers are not served food but
truckies get a meal to coincide with a work break.
Snake bites man: man swallows snake
A Malaysian man, angered by a snake that bit him,
swallowed it and is now in hospital with a severe
stomach ache, The Star newspaper reported yesterday.
Doctors in the southwest town of Seremban said x-rays
had confirmed that the 30cm snake inside Mr M
Krishnan, 45, was dead, but the snake swallower is
not so sure.
"I can still feel something moving in my stomach and
I am afraid the snake may be alive", he said. "I
caught it, but it bit me, so I got so angry that I
swallowed it. I had a stomach ache and neighbours
sent me to the hospital." -- Reuter
A British pensioner crashed his car through the
window of a barber's shop, climbed out, apologised,
and sat down in the chair for a short back and sides.
Then, leaving damage put at $10,000 78 year old Ted
Sheppard, Southhampton, hobbled away - and he forgot
to pay for the haircut. Police were called but
decided no offence had been committed because the
crash happened off the road.
Hollywood is beckoning the world's youngest holder of
a college degree. Ten year old Michale Kearney
graduated from the University of South Alabama in
June. His parents have decided to postpone his
advanced education so he can try to fulfill his dream
of becoming a TV game show host. They're moving to
Los Angeles this month. "We're waiting to see if
Michael will have a career in television", said
father Kevin Kearney. "We want to give him a chance".
Voodoo rite in class
A Teacher in Irvingotn, New Jersey, upset with rowdy
seventh-graders, performed a voodoo ritual in class,
said city police director Samuel Williams, who
brought criminal charges against her yesterday.
Monique Bazile, 57, was accused of shaking and
chanting and throwing powder on pupils.
Five month old Benjamin McGlade can't even toddle let
alone kick a ball, but a family friend has taken a
gamble he is a soccer start of the future. Michael
Jones has bet #25 Benjamin will play for Manchester
United before his 23rd birthday. Bookmaker William
Hill gave him odds of 2000 to 1, so he stands to win
#50,000.
Patrick Torsney likes his records loud - so loud his
neighbours hate him. Frank Sinatra's My Way plays
over and over at top volume, so does the Scaffold's
Lily The Pink and Michael Jackson's One Day In Your
Life, a West Yorkshire court was told. Torsney, 59,
pleaded guilty to failing to comply with a noise
abatement notice and was fined #150. The court was
told neighbours living 100 metres away couldn't
evenhear their tvs when My Way played for days on end.
A British couple has asked their wedding guests to
make bets on their behalf at the bookmakers instead
of sending presents. Television sports quiz host
Will Buckley and his bride to be Grainne O'Driscoll
sent out a list to 150 friends with odds agreed with
bookmakers William Hill. They ranged from a 20 to 1
gamble on Chelsea winning the FA Cup title nex year,
to odds of 33 to 1 on the couple having twins.
If your family name is Beer, what to you call your
son? One British couple called Beer opted for the
first name Bottled. Then there is Mr and Mrs Jordan
and their daughter River, and the Wall family with
ther child, Stone. The bizarre list, which also
includes the Waters family and their bubbly daughter
Mineral, comes from maureen Price, an official in
charge of registering names in Stafford. She has
made a hobby of collecting parents unusual choices
over the last 14 years. Others on her list include
th Castle family and their son, Windsor.
Married to the job
An Italian industrialist is looking for a special
kind of person to manage his factory. His advert in
the Brescia Gazette says:
"Must be between the ages of 34 and 40, degree in
economics, morality impeccable, unmarried and without
romantic ties. With a view to marrying my daughter.
The winning applicant will be interviewed by a
marriage consultant."
As yet, there have been no replies.
A four-year-old Welsh boy took revenge on his mother
when she refused to dish up his favourite strawberry
jelly dessert by reporting her to the police.
Richard Powell called 999 and asked police to "come
and sort out" his mother Adella who was insisting he
eat his first course before having dessert. "It was
the funniest 999 call we'ver ever had. We made sure
Richard had a huge bowl of jelly after his dinner", a
police officer said. The boy's parents have since
had a lock put on the telephone.
Invercargill firefighters arrived at a reported hedge
fire yesterday to find the smoke was coming from
"hordes" of school students puffing on cigarettes. A
motorist saw smoke drifting from the ehedge and drove
to a nearby fire station to raise the alarm. When
firefighters arrived, there was no sign of a fire.
But they found between 40 and 50 students "puffing
away as fast as they could go" while sheltering from
the weather behind the hedge.
United States talk show host Rolanda Watts thought
she had aced an interview with Fidel Castro until a
hitch developed, like a request from the Cuban leader
for $US600,000. "How do you like that for a
socialist leader?" she said. "His people are fleeing
because of starvation. Poverty. They're below the
subsistence level. Wouldn't you love to know what he
planned to do with that money? Invest in rafts?"
A Camerroon man who was told six years ago by his
wife's family that she had died in childbirth has
accused her of theft after spotting her in a bar with
a new husband. Michel Fotso complained to police he
had paid a big bride price (four pigs, a litre of
rum, 100 litres of red wine, five machetes and a
bicycle) to marry the woman, who jilted him by faking
her death in 11988. Police are investigating.
An Israeli woman is seeking a divorce because her
husband is infatuated with United States First Lady
Hillary Rodham Clinton. "When my husband heard the
Clintons were coming to Israel, he lost all control",
she said in divorce papers. "He waited in front of
their Jerusalem hotel (last) week for hours just to
see his beloved". He had obsessively collected press
clippings about Mrs Clinton. "A month ago he
surprised me by ordering me to colour my hair to
match the shade used by the president's wife and to
copy her hairstyle".
For the record
The mayor of Bognor Regis is writing to the Queen to
see if King George V really did say "bugger Bognor"
on his deathbed. Francis Oppler said: "The remarks
are a slur on Bognor and I want to lay the ghost once
and for all about them." He is asking the Queen if
there is any official record of these comments. -- PA
Villagers' hysteria investigated
NEW DELHI, August 31, -- Psychologists have sent to a
village in north-east India to investigate hysterical
singing, dancing, and crying by residents, the United
News of India reported today.
Some people in Garo Para village would sing, dance
and cry until exhausted as though affected by mass
hysteria and this had forced normal people to flee
the village in panic. -- Reuter
Tractor Cruise
A couple are seeing the world at 19kmh -- on a blue
1980 Ford tractor. "I used to drive a tractor all
the time on the farm, and I thought it would be nice
to take a cruise on it sometime," Cromwell sheep
farmer Ian Begg, 47, said. Mr Begg and Pam Crawford,
45, plan a trek across the United States, Canada,
Europe, Australia, and New Zealand on their tractor,
which pulls a small trailer they call home.
Boat crew in hot water
An Oxford University boat crew landed in hot water
with police after rowing down the river in the nude.
The eight rowers from Oxford's St John's College took
to the water after a drinking session. Their coach,
also nude, rode his bicycle along the towpath
shouting instructions
Pie sours pork expo
The start of the annual World Pork Expo was marred by
an attack on the Pork Queen, who was hit in the face
with a cream pie by an animal activist in a pig mask.
The expo nevertheless went off as planned, including
a seminar on swine care, a Pig-Casso art show and a
barbecue on a grill the size of a football field. --
KRTN
Bowled out
American Bob Bittner, who fell in love with ten-pin
bowling as a child, bowled his first perfect game
this week after 31 years of trying. He showed little
emotion while cheering friends celebrated; he died of
a heart attack 30 minutes later. "He loved bowling,"
wife Pam said. "he really wanted that 300 game, but
then the one he shoots is the only one.
Give a dog a bad name
An Israeli has taken his wife to divorce court for
giving his name to their white poodle. "He gave the
dog to their two little girls," a rabbinic court
source said. "When he came home the next day, he
heard them calling the dog, `Zvika, Zvika, come
here'. After that he was so mad he decided to go to
the rabbis.
A bird in hand
A man driven to distraction by his neighbour's noisy
parrot finally throttled the bird to silence its ear
piercing squawks. Company director Mark Leach (43)
and his wife Dolores kicked down he neighbour's
fence, broke into his aviary and strangled the
Amazonian blue-fronted parrot when his patience
snapped after four years of incessant screeching.
The bird had been trained to screech Leach's name all
day. The couple were fined $900 each.
Veiled meaning
British women love white weddings but many don't give
tuppence for marriage vows.
The findings are revealed in a new survey that shows
marriage is increasingly likely to be shrouded in a
veil of hypocrisy for today's women.
Almost 45% would consider having an affair at some
point during their marriage, according to the poll.
Three out of four who plan to walk down the aisle say
they will do so simply because they like the thought
of getting married in white.
Concert Cancelled
A rock group called Dead German Tourist vowed
yesterday to find another site for a concert after a
popular club cancelled the band's appearance under
pressure from Miami officials concerned about the
spate of attacks on tourists in Miami earlier this
year.
Axing yoga `unfair'
Civil libertarians have labelled as bigotry a
decision by Mt Roskill Grammar School to withdraw
yoga classes because of conflicts with Christianity.
Auckland Council for Civil Liberties spokesman Barry
Wilson said the decision seemed more akin to acts of
Muslim extremists.
Green thumb helps
A retired Briton used his gardening skill to help end
his bladder problems. He planted seeds found in his
own urine and watched them grow into tomato plants --
thus diagnosing that there was a hole between his
bladder and his bowel, doctors reported. The hole
was treated.
Goat-throwing tamed
MANGANESES DE LAS POLVOROSA (Spain) Jan 24 -- One of
Europe's most notorious fiestas was tamed today when
locals in a northern Spanish village were prevented
from hurling a goat from the top of their church
tower.
Instead, amid cheers and music from a brass band,
they lowered the animal down on a rope and let it
fall the last 10 metres onto a canvas sheet held open
by villagers
Hundreds of people packed into the village square at
Manganeses de las Polvorosa on a frosty winter's day
to watch.
Animal rights groups had petitioned the Government to
have the goat-throwing ceremony banned completely and
the compromise, struck by the village mayor, left
them unmoved.
"This is not a victory. The villager's mentality
hasn't changed and the goat still suffers a lot",
said Briton Vicki Moore, president of Fight Against
Animal Cruelty in Europe.
The event was officially banned last year but
villagers carried on undeterred. Violence erupted
when police moved in to stop them and several people
needed hospital treatment.
Wedding fallout
A bridegroom's mother who catered for her son's
wedding is suing the brides' parents because they
refused to pay a share of the bill. And Cara White
is backed by the bride and groom, Angela and Chris.
The bride's mother, Mrs Gladys Smith, told her
tearful daughter outside the Lincolnshire court: "I
never thought the day would come when I would feel
ashamed of you." -- NZPA
Morgue tours draw crowds
COPENHAGEN, Jan 26 -- A university employee
reportedly conducted after-hours tours of a morgue,
letting visitors touch cadavers, view pictures of
murder victims and films of autopsies.
The story was broken by the tabloid newspaper Ekstar
Bladet, which sent a reporter, Troels Christensen, on
the morgue tour with a group of 50 post office
workers.
The paper said Bjarne Hansen, whose job it was to
co-ordinate law enforcement briefings at the
University of Copenhagen's Medico-Legal Institute,
collected 50 kroner ($NZ13) a person for the tours,
which lasted about 90 minutes.
The tour began with Hansen showing slides of suicide
victims and young girls who had been murdered over a
period of years. He then showed a film of an
autopsy.
"After a smoking break, Bjarne Hansen took his group
to the building's basement and into the morgue, where
he willingly uncovered an elderly woman so people
could see her and touch her," Christensen reported.
The paper quoted parts of Hansens' tour patter, such
as "Yes, there is life after death. It's called
maggots." -- AP
Group defies protest
Rock group Dead German Tourist is set to perform in
south Florida today despite protest from a local city
council. The group's name has appalled many
Floridians after the murder of foreign tourists in
the area this year.
Man Shoots Fridge
A man called police in Durham, North Carolina, to
report that while he was entertaining guests an
unidentified man walked into his apartment, went to
the kitchen, fired a shot into his refrigerator, and
left.
Death Threat to Girl, 8
Death threats were sent to a contestant in a South
African child beauty pageant after a dsipute over
whether she qualified. Sharika Habib, 8, had to be
protected by police and security guards dressed as
clowns.
Cat in desk
A Japanese fireman who put a dead cat in the desk of
a hated boss lost his appeal today against a
suspended jail term. Supreme court judge Akira
Fujishima told 53 year old Etsuo Maeda, who also
filled his boss's coat pocket with dog droppings,
that his offence amounted to a "forcible obstruction
of business", Kyodo news agency reported. Maeda's
boss had to stop his ordinary duties for six hours
after the incident in April 1987, Kyodo said. It
said the two, who worked together at a fire station
in the western city of Osaka, hated each other. The
fireman was apparently trying to sabotage his boss's
work to get him fired. -- Reuter
Astonishing gullibility is enabling fraudsters
to scoop fortunes. Former jailbirds Antonio
Meli and Mario Locatelli, who formed a pseudo-
religious group in Naples, claimed they could
enable believers to chat on the phone with God
- for $50 a minute. Inspector Guiseppe Nonno
says: "Some callers gave those bums everything
had." The "voice of God" was provided by
homeless wino Roberto Scalfari. And Paolo
Marvasi of Milan guaranteed clients they could
become saints - for a fee of $2500. Before
being nabbed, he raked in more than $100,000.
Swindler Rene Morant (41) of Nice, France, used
a different system to squeeze more than $60,000
from punters. he charged $35 for cheap batteries
which, he said, contained a special "UFO repellant".
Placing them inside windows, he explained, would
"keep space aliens away". Police, however,
weren't kept away. Morant now faces a six year
sentence.
Idea all washed up
Berlin - Two east German entrepreneurs' dream
of making a fortune by converting old telephone
booths into shower stalls has been dealt a blow
because authorities fear the public could try to
make emergency calls from them.
Deutsche Telekom poured cold water on the plans
of Rainer Krettek and Juergen Hauschildt, who
have already plumbed two telephone kiosks and
put them on sale for about 4000 marks ($NZ3890)
each.
Telekom spokesman Ulrich Lissek said the showers
could cause confusion. It would be a problem if
someone wanted to make an emergency call and ran
into the booth that was actually a shower.
Man caught by his catflap
"In retrospect, I admit it was unwise to try
to gain access to my house via the catflap,"
Gunther Burpus admitted to reporters in
Bremen, Germany. "I suppose that the reason
they're called cat flaps, rather than human
flaps, is because they're too small for
people, and perhaps I should have realised
that." Burpus (41), a gardener from Bremen,
was relating how he had become trapped in his
own front door for two days, after losing his
house keys. "I got my head and shoulders
through the flap but became trapped fast
around the waist. At first, it seemed rather
amusing, I sang songs and told myself jokes.
But then I wanted to go to the lavatory.
I began shouting for help, but my head was in
the hallway so my screams were muffled. After
a few hours, a group of students approached me
but, instead of helping, they removed my
trousers and pants, painted my buttocks bright
blue and stuck a daffodil between my cheeks.
Then they placed a sign next to me which said
'Germany resurgent, an essay in street art.
Please give generously' and left me there.
People were passing by and, when I asked for
help, they just said 'Very good! Very clever!'
and throw coins into my trousers. No one
tried to free me. In fact, I only got free
after two days because a dog started licking
my private parts and an old woman complained
to the police. The rescue services came and
cut me out, but the police arrested me as soon
as I was free. Luckily, they've now dropped
the charges, and I collected over "DM3,000
(US$2000) in my underpants, so the time wasn't
entirely wasted".